Thursday, February 27, 2014

Silly Faces

We often get this silly face.  It's fun.  It's happy.  We love this one.
And recently we started getting this one.  It's fun.  It's silly.  She does it sometimes, almost as though she's trying to smile wider.  It's so darn cute. 
 What a silly goose

Wednesday, February 26, 2014


Last week we made a fort.  Nolan loved it.  So did Emily.  It was so fun to watch them crawl through it, in and out, just laughing.  I forgot how fun forts are.  And how easy.  This was so so fun!

Monday, February 24, 2014

Day After Valentine's Day

I love the day after Valentine's Day.  That means it is 'St. Patrick's Day' season.  
I think I'm just ready to be over red and onto green.  Green for grass, trees, flowers, spring, etc.  And I do love my little leprechaun!  

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

The Mom's Honest (but unpopular) Truth

For the next two months I am going to embrace nursing my 10 month old daughter. It just occurred to me that I only have 2 more months of our "special time" together. But the truth is I hate, hate, hate breastfeeding. And I have been hating it for the past 6 months.
 She was a tough baby. From the minute she was born she screamed (or at least it seemed so).  When she wasn't eating or sleeping she screamed.  For 4 months.  Screamed.  As a newborn she was a voracious eater.  And because I have a bigger kid I couldn't just sit around nursing her or even nurse her to sleep.  Because if I ever did get her to sleep while nursing the minute I moved, wiggled, coughed etc, she woke up screaming and latched on again.  Never mind that I had an active 'spirited' 3 year old who didn't understand the need to be quiet. I struggled getting her to fall asleep and stay asleep. I struggled getting her to take naps. And every.single.struggle I had I questioned the breastfeeding. Was she getting enough?  Was my feeding schedule not right? When she wasn't napping I wondered if she was too tired to nurse?  I pumped (while standing in the kitchen getting breakfast ready for myself and my 3 year old) and bottle fed her mid-day feeding because I worried the nursing/my supply/her tiredness was preventing her from getting enough milk to allow her to fall asleep and stay asleep.  None of that worked.  Eventually she just 'got' it with napping.  Or maybe I did.  Or maybe my supply increased.  See? always blaming/wondering breastfeeding!  And let's for a moment consider her intense separation anxiety (the earliest our pediatrician has ever seen), her inability/unwillingness (still) to take a bottle and the times I've been out and called home because she's inconsolable.  Would she not have these intense issues that only I/nursing can soothe if she was bottle feeding? 

Once I got her naps figured out she became aware do the world around her. That meant no more nursing in public because she was too curious about the world and every. single. sound she heard. That meant (and still means) we need to be home to nurse because otherwise I'm exposing myself to everyone so she can see who popped their bubble gum or sneezed or what color car drove by.  That meant that even in her room with the door closed she could still hear when Nolan jumped off the bed upstairs and made a thump. Or when he yelled outside of her door.  So even now, when she hears something she stops nursing, wants to sit up, turn toward the sound.  And while she's turned around 'oh look, there are some books' and 'there's a picture on the wall' and 'is that facebook you're looking at your phone?' and I wrestle with her to get her back in the breastfeeding position so she's interested in nursing again all the while she's wiggling and whining and then 'oh, right, I was nursing' and latches back on.  Or sometimes she doesn't and that's the end of the session/attempt. What this means is that at bedtime (the only time I nurse her to sleep) I sit in the dark with the sound machine on praying Nolan doesn't have a meltdowns right outside her door. 

When she needs to eat she cries and whines and fidgets.  Dave holds her, facing out because she straight-arms him in the throat while reaching for me if he tries to hold her facing him. And for some reason it seems like he is too close to me. That she is too close. While I rush around the house getting my nursing supplies ready: 32 ounces of water I need to drink at every feeding to keep up my supply, my phone to check email and Facebook, my kindle in case no one has played their side of words with friends, the sock filled with rice and heated to near burning to sooth my shoulder/neck pain from sitting and staying the nursing position. All the while she is whining and I'm the ONLY one who can do anything about it.  In the morning, when she hears me come down the stairs she starts to fuss.  When she HEARS ME WALK DOWN THE STAIRS. I can watch Dave, Nolan and Emily on the monitor playing happily, reading books and doing morning time snuggles and stuff but when she hears me (or smells me) walk on the stairs, she starts crawling to the kitchen and whining.  I certainly can't participate in their morning playtime without Emily freaking out because she wants to eat.
Every day for months I suggested to Dave that I wanted to stop. I made lists of reasons why I should stop and why I should continue. Shamefully the top of my 'to continue' list was that I don't have to clean up from dinner.  Yes. That was my best reason to continue.  Well, that and that once you stop nursing you can't (well, I won't) go back.  And what if bottle feeding is worse?!  What if she starts screaming again, non stop like she did as an infant?  What if she buries her face in my chest crying while all I need to do is whip it out and she would stop?  Dave continued to support me.  Continued to suggest that it was my decision and he would support whatever I decide. I gave it another 24 hours.  Another day.   Another week.  Another month.

So here I am, two months away from my stopping point at 12 months.  Emily nurses ONLY 3 times a day.  I still don't like doing it (except for getting out of dinner cleanup and avoiding bedtime battles with Nolan.)  She eats food, drinks formula from a sippy cup and is thriving. I wonder if I'd enjoy bottle feeding her more than nursing or would I have other things to whine about- bottles to clean, costs, etc.  I wonder if I made the right decision.  That's the trouble with this parenting stuff, I always second guess myself.  I just got unofficial clearance from the nurse at the pediatricians office that I can introduce whole milk.  It's early, according to guidelines but everyone is different.  Every parent is different and every child is different.  Something about this news made me stop and consider no longer nursing her.  And while part of me is happy, oh so happy, the other part of me realized I've been using that time so unwisely!  So my goal these next two months is to put the phone down.  To look down at her, to admire her, to appreciate her.  To appreciate this time together.  This time 'off duty'.  This time to bond with her.  Because in 56 days I'm done breastfeeding.  And while bittersweet, I can't wait.


This is Trouble.  With a capital T.
She looks innocent but any chance she gets she races over to try to figure out how to climb these stairs. She has already mastered the basement stairs and now we have the gate up so she can't climb up them.   
I'm on to her

Monday, February 17, 2014

Ten Months Old!

Emily is 10 months old.  She has turned into a fun, easy going little girl.  She loves to play and very recently enjoys flipping through books (like can spend 5-10 minutes flipping through the same book.  by herself.  amazing).  She eats impressively, whatever we are eating most of the time though she's begun to show preferences.  She's happy when she can roam and play.  She doesn't love to run errands or be confined (in a stroller) for long periods of time.
She can be very very very loud, screaming or screeching in joy or just because.  Sometimes in the car she'll let out this loud scream every few minutes.  It generally elicits giggles from Nolan which makes her do it again and again.  She is starting to be trouble- getting into things that are off limits and then laughing when we tell her 'no' and just starts doing it again.   
 She has begun to climb the stairs- also a 'fun' game for her.  What's hard about having two kids is when one is doing something they shouldn't, the other/older is right there encouraging her to do it again.  
And she's begun making this face that is funny, darling and strange all at the same time.  I do love it though!

Thursday, February 13, 2014


Kids are kid of adorable and pathetic when they are sick.  Here's a photo of Nolan laying in Dave's arms last weekend.  I forgot I snapped this.  It was so rare, nolan in a sweatshirt and socks, laying down for more than half a second.  The kid rarely wears more than one shirt.  It was torture trying to get it on him on this day but he was freezing and burning up all at the same time.
 I love this simultaneous bathtime.  We had lots of baking soda baths for poor Emily and her bummah this week.  And lots of naked time which both kids really love.
 Oh my poor pathetic sickies.  For the record Nolan is feeling much better, back to normal almost.  Emily is still not completely healed but is doing much better and those teeth seem to be coming in which the doctors think are the cause of this awful diaper rash.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014


So Emily still only has 2 teeth which is adorable.  Nolan developed so quickly that it's funny to have a kid with only 2 teeth at this age (Nolan had 8 at this age and drooled like a faucet).  
12/8/10 photo of Nolan with lots of teeth and lots of drool
I love her two little teeth and her smile but it is awful to see/anticipate the two uppers coming.  She's uncomfortable and I think they've been coming in for months, I see these little white nubs but then they disappear.   

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Double Whammy

On Saturday my Wild Thing started acting really strange.  Complaining of leg pain and when I casually suggested he go lay down he did.  That NEVER happens.  Then he curled up into a ball on Dave's lap for like 30 minutes.  We knew this kid was sick.  Like bad sick.  So his fever soared and he lay around crying at little things and then the next morning he was heaving.  Nothing came out since he didn't eat anything but sick.
The next day he acted fine in the morning and back to high fever and lethargic in the afternoon.  Then overnight he called for me to come lay with him (we just don't do that in our house- he's sick) and then a few hours later another call because his tummy hurt.  Some more heaving but not really any vomiting since he had eaten almost nothing in 36 hours.  My poor guy.  
And then this one started up with a terrible terrible diaper rash and sobbing with big fat tears anytime I put her on the changing table.  So I called the pediatrician for BOTH kids and got some random home remedy for diaper rash- maalox, benedryl and baking soda- make a paste.  So I head out to the store in search of maalox (we have baking soda and cherry flavored benedryl at home).  Apparently they no longer sell maalox so I get the generic version of it contemplating whether the mint flavor would be soothing or painful...  I decide on a non-flavored kind and make the paste.  It smells like cherry and seems wrong but I shrug my shoulders and sigh and go for it. I slop it on and wait.  Emily seems to notice something is strange but doesn't cry.  Then she starts crying.  I feed her some food and she doesn't seem to want to sit.  So I decide to give up on this paste and stick her in the tub with baking soda.  Then Dave comes home... and gently suggested that the doctor might have intended me to use benedryl cream...  that makes more sense.  So I ask you this- was I the bonehead to not think it through?  Or should the pediatrician specified to use benedryl topical cream, not the oral liquid...  

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Snow Day

It's not easy for Nolan and I to get outside these days but the snow was just tapering off to freezing rain when it fell time for Emily's nap so we ventured out.  
We brought out Nolan's Spiderman too.  He's been REALLY into spiderman, moving around the house 'shwinging' from his webs that he throws.  It's a lot of fun to watch this play. 
 So Nolan was throwing Spiderman and then leaping and climbing through the snow to retrieve him.
 It was a nice time spent outside.  I had a blast and so did he, for sure!  I can't wait for more snow (and forecast says I'll get it) but I'm in need of some snow pants!