I love these kids. I love them a lot. I'm amazed daily at what Nolan is doing and how much he's changed. Emily is amazing too, learning to eat, move, getting ready to crawl, etc. But I have to ask: Is it supposed to be THIS hard? I'm just not sure but other people don't seem to have as hard of a time with things as I am having. So rather than (continue to) complain about it or speculate ways to help make things easier I am actually making some changes to things in hopes that I don't make things harder.
First, I've done away with that damn infant carseat carrier. Sure, it might be easier to bring her in and out for preschool drop offs but my neck, shoulder and back are aching so badly I can't turn my head most days. It's too darn heavy for me, I just can't do it. I'm figuring out the new seat and it's not as hard as I speculated it to be.
Second, we enrolled Nolan in a post-preschool class so he now goes to school on Tu/Th from 8:45-1:15. It's a very long day for him. Previously I was bringing him to school for 845, dropping him off, rushing home to put Emily down for her nap and then waking her up (if she was still asleep) in order to nurse her early so I can pick him up at 1115 then going to the playground until 12, coming home for lunch and putting them both to bed at 130 for naps. It was JUST enough time to get NOTHING done. Don't get me wrong, during her nap I can get stuff done but I didn't. I'd blog, email (read: waste my hour) instead.
Third: I went to the doctor. I have no idea why I feel so awful most days but begged him not to laugh at me and blame parenthood when I told him I'm feeling rundown, have a headache most days and just feel rotten. Who knows, we'll do testing to find out but at least we are trying to make me feel better. BUT while I was there I saw a sign for kids that said they should get 9 hours of sleep, 5 fruits and veggies, 2 hours of screentime, 1 hour physical activity and 0 sugary drinks and realized that should apply to grownups too. SO I am revamping my world a little bit, as much as I can.
Fourth: we are attempting to change her schedule a little bit. I know the 'if it aint broke, don't try to fix it' may apply here. This may be something that really screws up her world but I'm miserable trying to keep up with her current schedule of needing something every hour. Instead of constantly wondering if switching to formula would make things easier on me we are adding some sippy cups to her day and trying to push her nursing back a little bit so I am nursing just before she eats her meals, rather than an hour before -nursing at 11, then food at 12/1230 and then nursing at 3, then food at 4/430 is really a lot of demands when you have a toddler who wants to leave the house ever. I keep thinking formula will be easier because the schedule i kept with Nolan was less fragemented. He ate food, then immediately had a bottle then a nap. But for some reason I just fear that if we go that route we'll mess up what we currently have which is fair to good.
Fifth: Her napping is back to only 45 minutes at a clip. However she is eating like a champ and happy when she's awake so it's not completely terrible except that I don't have any downtime which makes it hard to do things like figure out how to eat 5 fruits or vegetables a day or plan dinners that actually feed us for the amount of time I plan them to (we're off by two nights this week assuming leftovers would give us two meals but didn't).
So all in all things are ok. I wish they were awesome. Emily seems happy. Nolan seems busy and tired but he seems to like his longer days at preschool. I'm finding some time to actually play with Emily which is a big change for me. So hopefully these little things help make our lives feel better, easier, less impossible. But if Emily could go back to her 1.5 hour naps I'd be able to play offense versus just sneaking by each day.