Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Second Guessing

Parenting is hard.  It's hard in ways people who aren't parents don't understand and people who are parents talk about incessantly.  You take what you've seen, what you've experienced, what people tell you, what the 'experts' say, what your pediatrician says, what the books say, what you overhear at playgrounds and mommy and me classes and then add a grain of salt to each.  Then you sort through those options trying to figure out what is best for you and your family.  And the slightest comment or criticism can wildly skew what you thought was the 'right' way.
I am very 'opinionated'.  I have lots of ideas of what the right way is to do things and while I can't always verbalize why I feel that way, I do and have opinions about people who do things differently.  It's a personality fault of mine, but it's true.  I even have opinions about myself when I find I'm doing something that I never dreamed of.  So when parenting 2.0 came along I figured this would be easy peasy and we'll just do it just like we did with Nolan.  He's a great,very active, a little nuts, a lot of fun, polite, smart, well-adjusted little boy.  
So why oh why do I feel like every decision I make I am second guessing?  Why have we started and stopped something more often with Emily than we did with Nolan?   Sleep training, eating, and her schedule!  Please don't even make me go into it but we have had no less than 20 variations of what we should be doing with her schedule.  I have consulted so many websites and blogs and asked so many people how they handle their two children, when do they nap, etc.  (seriously, google '4 month old schedule' and you get like millions of suggestions) But here's the thing, when it is actually working for us, why do I want to change it?  Because I think I/she should be doing something differently from what I/she is doing- even though it works for us.  AND because of a teeny passing comment that I agonized over.  
So we are back to our old schedule with Emily.  It works for us.  And she is different from Nolan.  She is different from every baby that ever existed.  So if it works, it works.  I need to be more confident and stop second guessing things.  I need to remember that Emily is different than Nolan.  And I need to take it easier on myself and trust my instincts.

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