Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Mr Independent

Mr. Independent suddenly has lots of opinions and they are often not ones I agree with which ends with him yelling and waving his arms. It's similar to 'all done' which he has been using quite well. Perhaps he's trying to tell me he's 'all done' with listening to me.

I read somewhere that when you are saying no, to explain WHY you are saying no. Often times parents say no for just a reason that you don't want the kid touching your stuff or getting it messy or just because they never touched the object before. That's not really a good reason to say no-either move it so he can't touch it or get over it. So by explaining WHY you are saying no you are helping yourself determine if it is really a good time to be saying no and also it will help in the long run when child is able to understand your reasoning.

So today after Nolan tripped on the snuggle blanket he was carrying and his face smashed into the tile floor (surprisingly not resulting in a bloody nose) I deemed walking around with the blanket a 'no'. The kid was not having it. I wrestled the blanket from him and from under his feet and then started my reasoning. Then in the middle of my reasoning, with Nolan sitting and listening to me with a scowl on my face, I decided he could use the snuggle blanket but only on the carpet (so if he falls again he won't hurt himself as badly). Is that too complicated for a little guy? Should I just let him learn the lesson the hard way? In hindsight, I was just upset he almost hurt himself.

There have been more and more of these yelling fits. He just shouts 'ahhhh' and flails his arms. I don't love this phase and try to ignore it. It's frustration. I know it is because I want to do it when I get frustrated too. I see him do it when he's trying to push two toys and keep going in different directions. When he wants to go outside but I don't want to (because it's raining). When he wants to slam the door and I tell him 'no'. But when he does things that are not 'normal' (like turning his music table over and riding it like a bouncy toy) I just need to let him try it that way. I know he's learning but it's getting harder to remember that.

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