Friday, October 30, 2009

Our baby, the pilot...

After a bumpy flight (in more ways than one) to Seattle, I believe our baby really enjoys flying. During the mild turbulence the baby was bouncing around as well. It was a joy to have some hours to just sit and just be. I think Baby must have enjoyed it too! Maybe it will be a pilot when it grows up.

Seattle was lovely, I had a great dinner with Aunt Liz and did some lovely work stuff. The people I work with make the trip truly pleasant and it was fun to surprise some of my clients with my big belly.

Speaking of that. My belly has grown (pictures to come tomorrow). My goodness, I was only gone for 4 days but I now look like I am having a baby. It is not a secret, it isn't just chubby, it is a baby. And the best part about it, Dave really loves it. He can't keep his hands off it. He makes this squeezing motion with his hands and just comes over to squeeze and rub it. It's beautiful.

I feel great. I feel happy and somehow assured things are going absolutely right. I feel mentally balanced (thank god) and aside from a few minor complaints, I feel great.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Emotional Wreck

Lately my emotions have been ALL over the place. I don't think I have as wide a range of emotions lately- I haven't been really pissed off/swearing and I haven't been jumping around and laughing hysterically. But I have had quick brief mood swings that make me feel crazy causing me to ask- why? The hardest part is the quick snaps at people I love, for something I forget only minutes later. It makes no sense, but I can't seem to stop it. And the tears, oh my.

I admit, not-pregnant I am certainly a mushball. Hallmark commercials can make me weepy before the end of the commercial. But lately I am crying for everything. I'm not sure if it just means the world has some rough things happening to it, but life has been hard. The latest tragedy to hit Connecticut is the stabbing/death of a UCONN football player, on campus, last weekend. It is absolutely horrible and EVERY time there is some piece of news about this awful tragedy (and that's a lot around here) I turn into a pile of weeping mush, unable to make those darn tears stop.

And it doesn't stop at this tear-worthy news story. No, it's the mommy-dog and her puppies on Animal Cops that were neglected. It's the insurance company commercials about people doing the right things for the benefits of others (the one where the lady gives the piano her father gave her to a school that needed it). It's the little things and the big things, happy and sad. And I can't put a finger on exactly what, but sometimes I just mush up and cry for absolutely no reason. Then I work hard to come up with a reason so I don't look crazy.

Women seem to be sympathetic, they think to themselves 'it's the hormones'. Dave seems understanding yet slightly afraid. I wonder if I'll be like this for the next 18 weeks (I'm really hoping that's not the case). I'm going to blame the sleepiness- I think need a nap.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Tiredest girl on Earth

I'm not a big sleeper. I don't generally need lots of sleep and before I met Dave I would regularly go to bed at or after midnight, waking at 6:30 for work and have no problem with that amount of sleep. I enjoy sleep, but I don't think I need a lot of it.

Dave, on the other hand, is a fantastic sleeper. Not only does he go to bed early-between 9-10, but you can also find him snoozing on the couch before bedtime. It's amazing to me how well and much he sleeps. I consider it one of the benefits of our marriage that we now go to bed earlier than midnight. Now I get more sleep and that can't hurt. (sidenote, Dave does get up at 5 for the gym daily. I sometimes accommodate him but no longer regularly)
So on Wednesday around 11, I felt tired. So tired. Tired in a way that I wanted to cry. I ached to be in comfy clothes and horizontal. I tried to kick that desire but I couldn't. I cancelled my Wednesday night plans, came home, got in my comfy clothes and laid on the couch hardly keeping my eyes open for CSI.
Dave came home and laughed at me. He would leave the room, then poke his head back in and giggle some more. I don't know what happened to me (I blame the baby) but I was the tiredest girl on earth. Dave and I were in bed by 8:04pm and, get this, Dave was asleep before me! But I was close behind. I was zonked.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Trip #2 to Babies R Us

We went again. Just to look. Again. And we didn't run out screaming, we didn't get into a fight. SUCCESS! We didn't really talk that much, but we looked more closely at things and shared our comments about various items (like a video monitor for the baby). We talked about things that we thought we would need and things we thought were silly or weird- like the teddy bear that makes womb sounds and hangs from the crib rails. Yes, the teddy hangs from the crib.

The item we spent the most time trying out is the chair/glider/rockers. The store has about 10 to try out and sit in. Most are lovely. Of course, the two we really liked are probably the most expensive ones in existence. We made no decisions, but feel more informed and closer to many decisions.

It's hard to imagine our house with all the stuff for a baby. It's hard to imagine our house with a baby living in it. But today I met a friend's 6 week old and my word, she was a cutie pie. I can't wait to meet ours.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

autumnal garden/yard cleaning surprise!

Aside from the snow that fell on Thursday, there were signs telling us it was time to winterize the yard and garden. We laid a bunch of mulch several weeks ago, but needed to do things like bring in the patio chairs and cushions, store the beach umbrella and chairs somewhere other than the garage, etc. There was a little gardening to do. Oh, and we needed to cut down our too-late-for-red-tomatoes tomato plants. It was a rotten year for growing and for tomatoes especially.

So I start hacking away at the tomatoes. It's a shame to cut down and throw away about 10 small green tomatoes (many had holes where presumably bugs got to them). Then I head to the Square Foot Garden that we loved so much. We planted some onions that we expected to fruit around now, but they looked lovely a green (a sign they are not doing what they are supposed to). However, the look gorgeous and smell like green onions, so that's how I'll use them. Of course, the broccoli was still hearty and producing small heads. There were some carrot stalks I yanked and much to my surprise, there were some impressive looking carrots connected to those stalks! Look what I found! Yes, it is the size of my hand:

So it looks like we'll be having carrots with dinner... all week...

Friday, October 16, 2009

Miami Heat- Oldies

So in my quest for good or cute news, I bring you this. A story about the Senior Citizen's Miami Heat Dance team. It's a dance team of only over-60 year olds who perform at the Miami Heat games. The dancers are spunky and have a lot of fun. It's adorable and I just love it. I wish I knew how to post a video... anyway, it's cute.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

20 weeks! and photos!

We had our 20 week ultrasound today. The baby size (an heirloom tomato) and weight (a can of soda --- or beer) and heartbeat are all normal and the estimated age of the babe is on track with how many weeks the doctors think it is. Everything looks perfect. We saw it's little hands and feet and long arms. The tech thinks the baby has my nose. We saw it yawn (or open it's mouth) and also playing with its toes. It was really amazing and we're thrilled everything looks good, the heart rate was 150/minute and it seemed really happy in there. It was 'cooperative' says the tech.

Here are some pictures of the little one. Any guesses if it’s a girl or boy?

No, we did not find out. And yes, it did snow here today... on October 15th...

(psst- that's a foot)

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Searching for a new

So I have taken some pre-natal yoga classes and I truly enjoy them but they are not really at the best times for me. I also bought a dvd to use at home. I chose this particular one because it had a 15-30-45 minute sessions so I could choose how much time I wanted to spend doing it. I love that. Except I don't like the tape. I don't like the instructor and I can't figure out when I'm supposed to breathe. So I'm on to trying to find a new video which totally bums me out. I think I'll try the library next.

Monday, October 12, 2009

when did I get this big?

Seriously, did it sneak up on me? Am I wearing something that makes the belly look bigger? Some days I don't look pregnant at all and other days I look like this! When in the world did I grow this belly? Overnight? Wow. Well Kids, here is the first belly photo... at 19.5 weeks:

Wow, our broken scale says I haven't gained any weight... weird.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

just one of those days

I don't know if every pregnant person feels this way, but I can be going about my day perfectly fine when suddenly I'm hungry. And I don't mean 'hmmm, perhaps I'll grab a nibble of something when I come upon something tasty'. No, it immediately progresses to 'perhaps I'll eat my arm off'. As a result I generally carry a snack with me, in case of an emergency, tucked in a pocket of my purse. I bring my purse nearly everywhere, except to the grocery store.

So, at the grocery today, in the last aisle before looping around and grabbing some things from the deli and my lunch, I turn ravenous. I'm wondering what I can eat in my cart since I don't have my purse with me. I'm in a store of food and I'm suddenly STARVING! I think to myself, 'Colleen calm down, calmly go get the remaining items and head home'. So I swing back around to the deli, initially skipped over because there were about 20 people hovering when I walked by the first time. There are still a lot of people but I need the deli today because for some reason the pre-sliced procsuitto isn't available. So I get a number- number 18. I look around at the swarm of people near the deli and wonder how long the line is when the call out 'Number 10'. Oh god, I'm going to starve at the GROCERY store. Oh what a headline that will make 'Pregnant woman starves to death waiting in the deli line'. So I look again in my cart and there still isn't anything I can munch on. I walk over to where the pre-sliced procsuitto wasn't about 25 minutes earlier and it's still not there. So I decide I'll skip the deli. I'll come back after work or something later this week.

I proceed over to the pizza area where I had planned to buy a chicken and broccoli stromboli. But there are no strombolis to be seen? I ask the young man behind the counter. They will be ready in 15 minutes. FIFTEEN MINUTES? Oh god, so I grumble ok and go scavenging the pre-made food but there is nothing good so I decide to get a slice of pizza. I grab the pizza and head over to the check out. There are several lines of people that are 5-6 deep. But I spy an aisle where there is only 1 person in line. Jackpot!

So as I begin to feel weak and cranky from my starvation I put my items on the belt. And the belt is moving oh-so-slowly and I realize I am in line of the slowest checkout clerk on Earth. She's chatting with the customer and not bagging the groceries. The customer isn't bagging either, she's writing a check (who writes checks at the grocery store anymore?) I impatiently wait, stick out the tummy a little bit to see if I can get any sympathy and try to get the line going but nope, slow as molasses.

Then it's my turn! Thank god! So I give her my card and a coupon and take my place at the end of the belt to bag my own groceries. She sends the first item down the belt and then turns to bag it.!?!? HELLO! I'm standing right here. So I tell Pokey-the-slow-poke to just send them down the belt, I'll bag them. She stops and asks if I want her to take the food out of the bag she just put it in. I said 'no, just go back to scanning!' I didn't yell, but I wasn't polite. So we get all the groceries bagged, and then my grapes fall out of the bag onto the floor. They remain in the flimsy plastic bag but by now I'm pissed. I just want to get home so I can wash the freaking grapes and devour them. I consider opening the pizza box and begin eating it right there in line but I don't. So then she tells me the total and I ask about the coupon b/c it did not appear to take the price down on the one item. But she already pressed some button and was taking forever looking at the stupid slip and by now it's too late. I've silently declared her incompetent and curse her under my breath. She says I need to go to customer service to resolve this. Grrrrr.

So I head to customer service, contemplating just forgetting the $4 I could save with the coupon but ALAS there is no one in line! So the girl gives me $4 and as I head past Pokey and out the door, just as I'm exiting the store the grape tomatoes fall out of the bag and onto the floor and roll all over the place. So I leave my cart in the doorway and walk over to a bagger boy and say with the most pitiful voice ever, fighting back tears, 'I just made a mess by the door'. So I sigh and consider that I just lost $3 of those $4 because of my spilled tomatoes but I just need to get the heck out of there so I can EAT! And the bagger boy asks if I want some more. I whine 'yes'. So he goes and gets another package for me while another comes and picks up the stupid rolling-around tomatoes. (No, I didn't attempt to clean them up, I was too hungry and mentally exhausted and I believe if I did begin I would have just sat down and cried, right there, in the doorway of Big Y). Someone brings me back some tomatoes (perhaps even the same ones that rolled all over the floor, who knows?) and I head out to my car, pathetically pack the car, slump into the drivers seat and head home.

Sometimes I just HATE the grocery store.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

A long weekend of nothing

It's a long weekend for me. That's so nice to have an extra day off to get done things I need to get done... Except a regular weekend without Dave feels too long. And now it's been lengthened just because some explorer found America. Damn Columbus! And, to top it off, I've got no plans. I've watched all my recorded CSI and Law & Order. I've already done laundry. I've planned out our cooking for next week. The house is decently clean. I've changed the sheets.

Almost everyone offers advice to a pregnant lady. Wanted or not, people feel compelled to give it. And the number one advice I've been given thus far is to enjoy my weekends of nothing. Take the time to lay on the couch and veg out because those times are few and far between when you add a helpless little (adorable and precious) human to that equation.

I must admit... I'm bored.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Give up Law and Order and CSI... I could never!

Lately I’m obsessed with CSI, CSI:NY, Law & Order and Bones. I could just watch them all day long if the tv channels let me. I tape the old ones and the new ones so I can see what I’m missing. I love that stuff (with the exception of SVU).

I was reading a baby book a friend gave me which provides one page of fun facts or advice each day of your pregnancy. And last night I was reading the book and guess what it said. You’ll never guess. It said pregnant women should limit their watching of the following shows, in this order

1. Law & Order and all of it's derivatives (especially SVU)
2. CSI and all it's derivatives
3. All news channels
4. Oprah (skip emotionally charged episodes about survival stories, medical miracles and world hunger)
5. Judging Amy (it's all about kids being screwed up)
6. The Baby Show (at least for now)
7. MTV (why worry about your baby as a teenager for another 13 years?)
8. Reality TV (especially bug eating)

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Old Soul

Tonight confirms it, I have an old soul. I've heard the expression and after tonight I believe I have one. I joined our town Garden Club last month. So when I was considering joining this club, it did occur to me, but was not the driving factor, that I might be the youngest person by, oh, about 30 years. But considering my love for old people this could totally work out in my favor! Not only will I hang out with nice old ladies, but I will also learn some stuff about our garden? Perfect.

So I joined. The first meeting (September) was at someone's house, included wine and there was actually one girl younger than me! But mostly they were 25 years older or so. There is a nominal fee, once a month you gather to discuss various garden topics (next month is Bonsai!) and sometimes there is a craft. This month, was more of a regular meeting, at the community center, snacks and coffee (no wine) was available and October is a craft-making month. So tonight, I MADE this!

Yes, I weaved a basket. Like I said- Old Soul. But perhaps the most clear sign of this Old Soul is that by 9pm, I was ready to go home. And the old ladies? Nope. Sitting attentively listening to the meeting topics and after the meeting adjourned, they chatted, laughed, caught up with each other's families and lives. I booked out of there. It was WAY past my bedtime.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

what we are excited about

So I'm trying to implement a new tradition for Dave and I, to every night say one thing we're excited about. Now, if you've met Dave and I you know I'm the excited/irrational one and he's the calm, cool and collected one. So while I know he IS excited and he tells me he is excited I'm desperate to know exactly what he is excited about. And while it is really like pulling teeth, our little game (er, I mean tradition) is telling me what he is excited for is fun. I love it. I wish he would play better though.

I'm excited for him to feel the baby, he's excited for the little one to fall asleep on him. God, how precious is that? I could just melt hearing it and now that I got a glimpse of what he's excited about I am desperate for more!

Monday, October 5, 2009

How did they do that???

So I wrote this blog posting earlier today... because I can't blog from work, I emailed it to myself to post this evening...

Dear World,

I wish for more ‘news’ stories like this: where a 14 year old boy in Africa has the vision and drive to power his poor, draught affected village with wind power from windmills built from scraps of a junkyard, made with a screwdriver built from a corn cob and metal that ultimately supplies enough electricity and water for his entire village! What a truly wonderful story. Wow, what a kid. Seriously, 14 years old, he worked hard because he had a vision, his village-mates called him names, even his family thought he was crazy. He had to drop of out of school because his family, farmers who had no crops because there was no rain or water, could not afford his tuition of $80/year. That's amazing.

Gosh, I wish to hear news stories that are less about violence across the oceans and in our back yards and more about hope, drive and love. I wish for a news channel to actually do reporting to find GOOD news, not news that sensationalizes mistakes made or weird creepy humans. I wish for a world where those weird creepy humans do not exist or a website that provides news without mentioning them. Call it ignorance, call it living in a bubble, call it what you want, I wish either those people and things don’t exist or that I didn’t have to hear about them.



So I come home, check my email and waddya know? I get a polite little email from suggesting a book I might enjoy. It's called The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind: Creating currents of Electricity and Hope I KID YOU NOT! It is the exact story I wrote about earlier today! Yes, and it's a book. And for those of you who know the books I love, this is right up my alley- takes place in Africa (or China), person down on their luck, finds someone or something to live for and has a pleasant ending!

What I want to know is, how did they do that? How did Goodreads know how much I loved this story on today? Just amazing.

Here's a synopsis of the book (don't worry, Bookclub, I won't choose this one but I can't wait to read it myself):

William Kamkwamba was born in Malawi, Africa, a country plagued by AIDS and poverty. Like most people in his village, his family subsisted on the meager crops they could grow, living without the luxuries—consider necessities in the West—of electricity or running water. Already living on the edge, the situation became dire when, in 2002, Malawi experienced the worst famine in 50 years. Struggling to survive, 14-year-old William was forced to drop out of school because his family could not afford the $80-a-year tuition. Though he was not in a classroom, William continued to think, learn—and dream. Armed with curiosity, determination, and a library book he discovered in a nearby library, he embarked on a daring plan—to build a windmill that could bring his family the electricity only two percent of Malawians could afford. Using scrap metal, tractor parts, and blue-gum trees, William forged a crude yet working windmill, an unlikely hand-built contraption that would successfully power four light bulbs and two radios in his family’s compound. Soon, news of his invention spread, attracting interest and offers of help from around the world. Not only did William return to school but he and was offered the opportunity to visit wind farms in the United States, much like the ones he hopes to build across Africa. A moving tale of one boy’s struggle to create a better life, The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind is William’s amazing story—a journey that offers hope for the lives of other Africans—and the whole world, irrefutably demonstrating that one individual can make a difference.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

What we're excited about

So I'm trying to implement a new tradition for Dave and I, to every night say one thing we're excited about. Now, if you've met Dave and I you know I'm the excited/irrational one and he's the calm, cool and collected one. So while I know he IS excited and he tells me he is excited I'm desperate to know exactly what he is excited about. And while it is really like pulling teeth, our little game (er, I mean tradition) is telling me what he is excited for is fun. I love it. I wish he would play better though.

I'm excited for him to feel the baby, he's excited for the little one to fall asleep on him. God, how precious is that? I could just melt hearing it and now that I got a glimpse of what he's excited about I am desperate for more!

New Goal- regular postings

Ok, So since there is news or actual stuff to announce to you all, my new goal is to post something every other day. Perhaps (Phill) my posts won't be as long, but more regular.
Feeling it. I've begun to feel the baby and I have to say, it is the most beautiful feeling in the world. What it means to me is that little green/red light I wish I had on my belly button to inform me that things are ok is no longer necessary. Now I've got the little one saying 'Hi Mom! I'm ok in here, go about your business and send in some food!' And it is a really wonderful feeling.
Here's a picture of the little one from 12 weeks... New picts coming soon